I saw a specialist ear surgeon on Thursday. He wants me to have an MRI to check why I have Tinnitus only in my right ear.
I couldn’t sleep much last night. I cried so much my pillow was soaked. I was so depressed. I had to send a message to my psychologist and asked her to call. Thank goodness she did today. She said I should speak to my GP and tell them my concerns about being in the MRI machine and feeling claustrophobic and trapped. She also said I could try a Valium just for that day.
The thought is really disturbing me. I really do not want to have a brain tumour, but I don’t want to be in that tunnel either. I think I’m honestly more afraid of the Valium.
Why can’t I just be healthy? Why do I have to put up with this shit? I’m poor, unemployed, with a bleak future, dismal future.
All I want is a peaceful healthy life. I don’t expect to be a millionaire, but I don’t want to be struggling for the rest of my life. Thoughts of the future are depressing. I just want this done and over with, but I don’t see how I’ll get though it.
I still have my appointment for ASD testing on the 24th. I’ll try to get though that first.
(c)ASD and me.
ASD and me 