I can’t stand this stupid smoke. I’m getting more and more stressed. This past week I’ve been up and down the stress level ladder so many times I’m physically and mentally exhausted. I’ve been looking for ways to distract myself from the smoke and I can’t really go outside.
Friday 13th December
I scrubbed the oven and removed a lot of strange brown stains and large piles of gunk. I also took the back off and scrubbed that till my hands were red and my shoulder hurt. I cleaned the counter top and was exhausted after that.
I found hidden piles of paper and sorted them and threw some out. I gave some to bf to sort, old bills from 2014, I don’t know how we still had those, we went through everything before we moved here.
Now I still have piles of stuff, that turned into 1 large pile again for when the cleaner came.
I also found old song lyrics I wrote when was in high school, then in college at 19. I studied radio broadcasting then music for 6 months. Then after numerous failures, I gave up my dreams for a “real” job in retail or an office.
I found old novels that I wasted 10 years trying to get published, then gave up and stored my dreams away.
I still have piles of self help books I want to go through, its just trying to find the energy in this heat and smoke. We’ve almost ran out of food to cook, but am avoiding going outside. We’ll need to go out soon, I can see the dust on my kitchen shelves.
I watched the Elf movie on Netflix because the Internet was working normally. We’ve had some issues because Internet and bushfires don’t mix.
I’ve been stressing so much abut the fire and the useless community visitor that I gave myself heart burn. I had forgotten what lava felt like.
I tried to remove dye from clothing using vinegar and bicarb. I forgot to plug the bath and all the vinegar ran out. I didn’t find this out until hours later.
I tried to bleach the clothing , but the smell burned my nostrils and filled my house. I had to open a window and the smoke took no time to enter. I guess I found something worse than the smell of smoke and destruction.
When I woke up, the sky was clear. Hooray! I was so happy I celebrated by opening 2 windows. (Whoa, calm down there, don’t get to excited). I was so giddy, I did some washing and bf hung it out.
After lunch, I was looking at the clear sky out the back window, celebrating having a clear lungs and being able to breathe, when I looked to the left and saw a small amount of smoke coming from the left over other mountains. I had been fooled by the blue sky into thinking it would be safe to clean the oven, but when I saw the new smoke, I was sad again. Also exhausted because the oven was in bits and covered in cleaner, which stank, so I couldn’t close the window until everything was cleaned. It took me over an hour to clean everything, then rinse, then I just put the parts back in the oven wet then closed the window.
I was so tired and done with cleaning the house, I sat on the floor and watched tv. After we quickly drove to Hungry Jacks yesterday for dinner and they forgot to put chicken nuggets in the bag, then came home and had minimal time outside walking from the car to the front door, but the smoke still invaded my senses and followed us into the house while the door was opened.
Smoke still covers out yard and we can’t see more than 2 houses down.
I’m running out of things to clean. I’ve already cleaned out the fridge, oven, counter tops, bathroom, vacuumed and picked up the kitchen floor rug and the loungeroom floor rug. Am running out of things to clean to distract me from the smoke.
Hopefully the wind will change again, then we will get some fresh air, then can go shopping.
Wednesday till Friday December 20th
Still the same. The winds blows and smoke moves slightly, but its still here. We still have 2 and a half months left of summer, so I guess we have to get used to it.
ASD and me 2019