Frustrated Aspie · NDIS · Thoughts

I still have no idea what’s happening

I just wrote a complaint letter to the LAC company. It took me over an hour to write and I kept editing, cutting, moving, retyping, to make sure it was as good as I can get it. I guess I can make it better but I wanted to send it because I had bad sleep last night and it was on my mind this morning when I was woken early.

I hate the LAC and the company. I have no idea why the NDIA won’t cancel my contract with them and go with someone else. They say it is up to us what providers we choose, then why can’t I change?

I’m just meant to be grateful with the crumbs that are thrown my way. I know I’ve said that before, but its true. I really feel like they don’t care. I’m trapped and I need help. But when I ask for it I’m denied, or told I already have “enough” or that I don’t qualify for more help.

I’m so tired of this. Thinking of it makes my brain exhausted and I can’t make a proper thought. The fog thickens and the bees start buzzing louder and I can’t see or hear above the din.

I doubt the LAC company will do anything about my complaint. These companies are usually incompetent, so I’m not holding my breath for a miracle.

(c) ASD and me 2020.

Frustrated Aspie · Thoughts

Unexplained gut pain again.

Last Thursday the 14th, I had gut pain again. Not long after I had woken up, I started to feel bad. My gut was cramping again, then the dry heaving began as well. I don’t know if it was because my stomach was empty, but I didn’t bring up food; I only had the dry retching and some fluid.

I tried to sit on the toilet, but nothing happened down south, so I thought I would watch YouTube till I felt better. The symptoms lasted about 20 minutes, then both stopped.

I don’t know if these symptoms are from IBS, I just want them to stop. The randomness of the symptoms is annoying, but mostly I hate the retching feeling. I don’t mind vomiting if there is a reason, but I can’t see any reason for this, which makes me anxious.

I sometimes wish I could appear on the Diagnosis show on Netflix, where a doctor and the New York Times ask the public if they have any ideas or suggestions through Crowdsourcing.

Fun fact: The medical term for Vomiting is Emesis.

©ASD and me 2019.

Frustrated Aspie · Thoughts

Am I making progress?

I hadn’t been to see my psychologist for almost 2 months this past Monday. My last appointment was moved because I had the allergy test and I wasn’t sure how long that would take.

This appointment was okay. I had forgotten my list of things to talk about, but it didn’t matter because she asked me questions and there weren’t any awkward silences like I usually have.

I told her what happened with the LAC and she said that it wasn’t good. Then she offered to call another company for me and made an appointment. Why couldn’t the LAC do that for me?

It wasn’t stressful, she asked me for a time and I said 12.30, then asked my phone number and I remembered it.

That’s what I wanted. I was so grateful and said thank you many times.

The last few appointments I saw the psychologist, I was thinking “whats the point?” because it seemed that talking about what seems like the same problems isn’t helping me. I’m tired of talk, I really need actions now.

I also think the house next door is being sold, so I’m anxious about who will move in there. Really hoping its good quiet people. I don’t want anymore trouble or abuse or drug dealers.

©ASD and me 2019.



Frustrated Aspie · Thoughts · Uncategorized

Stop using Autism as an insult!

Wow, he’s such a herpes head!

She’s such a quadriplegic!

You’re such a heat rash!

My legs hurt today, I need a wheelchair!

You’re such a Lyme head!

I forgot my books, I’m so autistic today!

(And my favourite)

Isn’t everyone just a bit Autistic?

Did you read the top lines? Have you ever said anything as stupid, ignorant and hurtful? No, them I’m sure you’re a good person. If you have ever said anything like this, then why?

I’ve been noticing a disturbing trend lately, mainly online. Its people making hurtful comments about Mental Illness, especially Autism. I’ve seen and heard many comments in Youtube videos and the comment section of people using Autism as an insult. It seems to be becoming the new “retard” or “spastic’. Obviously, I don’t like either of those words, but at least they don’t shine a spotlight on a specific illness.

Why is mental illness used like a punching bag? I don’t hear anyone making jokes about wheelchairs or people with Spina Bifida. No one would say “I wish I had a Chari 1 malformation” or “I wish I had Rickets so I could use a walking stick”.

These insults are very harmful and hurtful to people who actually have these illnesses. If you have these illnesses yourself or know someone who does, stand up for them. Tell the bully that bullying is not acceptable so they need to find other more appropriate words to express themselves. Maybe you need to buy these people a Dictionary and a Thesaurus to help them learn new words.

Mental Illness or any illness are not your punch line, so stop using them as one.

©ASD plus me 2019. meme sarcasm

Frustrated Aspie · Struggle · Thoughts

Contact made

I called my LAC again today Thursday and finally she answered. I’ve been trying to contact her since the 28th of August and today at 3pm she answered. Open the champagne!

She gave the excuse of I’m so busy. Non stop.

So she didn’t even have time to take a few seconds to acknowledge my call or SMS? I need to go into her office tomorrow at 10am. If she’s not there, I’m calling the NDIS to make a formal complaint and fucking have them fired again and demand that I’m moved to a different company.

I’m allowing my anxiety speak to me I know, but its been over 2 weeks trying to contact her.

I really want to know if anyone else is getting messed around? Are they having as shitty time as I am?

I really don’t know what to do. I’m stuck. I’m so angry that I don’t even want to go see her because I know I’ll cry or get angry. I really want to say: WTF are you doing?

Do you know what a phone is?

I’m sorry if my disability is causing you employment!

I’m sorry my cries for help are making you do the job your being paid for.

Maybe I should put these on a t shirt.

©ASD plus me 2019.

meme busy

Frustrated Aspie · Thoughts

I’m so disappointed

After the cleaning woman left on Monday, I started getting ready. It was almost 1pm when I tried to start the car. It just made gargle noises. I tried a few more times, but nothing. Bf came out to test the car and it didn’t like him either, so he had to get the battery charger from the garage.

I cried for a while because I was really looking forward to meeting some women at the group, but I missed it. It made me think, is this some sign from the universe, warning me not to go? Or is it just a flat battery. If so, how did it go flat? It worked fine yesterday. I have no idea. Thinking too much hurts my head and makes me cry more.

I looked on the NDIS website and found a 399 page PDF document with all the registered NDIS providers for NSW. At least, the title says NSW, but there are other state as well. Its difficult to read because of the tiny font.

It seems like I have hit a brick wall again. I made 2 phone calls, 1 email and 1 message, but no replies yet. Hopefully this new place I sent an email to will call within 24 hours as they claim to on their website.

Update: Its 2 days later. They haven’t. How can someone not reply to a call or message from a client when that is their job?

©ASD plus me 2019™



Food allergies · Frustrated Aspie · Thoughts

Trying to get by but sick again.

My letter from the NDIS came on Friday, so I can let my letterbox go back to growing spider webs now. I called this morning and have an appointment for 3pm today. I’m curious to see what they have set up for me. Or maybe I need to tell them what I want, I don’t know, I’ll just wait and see.

I also have been I’ll so had to visit the doctor again. I have an ear infection, again, so I need antibiotics, again. I went to a pharmacy called Blooms. I don’t like them, I think their prices are expensive, but I didn’t have time or the energy to take a long train trip to get to a cheaper pharmacy.

Normally, I find loud music and radio shops play very annoying, but this day, I thought it could have been dangerous. I have allergies, so the pharmacist have to ask me about them, which is a good thing, I want them to ask me about my allergies. But what I don’t want, is  to be deafened by loud music or radio while trying to ask if maybe this medicine could possibly kill me.

I say this a lot, but how is this a thing that happens? I get shops playing music. If you by vitamins, you probably won’t die if you eat too much kale powder, but if you can’t hear your pharmacist tell you not to take this medicine with kale powder, or not to use heavy machinery, or other helpful things,  and I can’t hear the, whose fault it that?

Some could argue that I should just “go somewhere else”, but no, that’s exclusion bullying. I need medicine, the pharmacy has been given a license by the Australian Government, so legally, I can use any pharmacy and they can’t discriminate against me.

Don’t they have a legal obligation to make sure their client knows how to take the medicine they have been issued correctly, and also warn of any side effects?

I’m truly stuck. I don’t want to purchase from Blooms, but its easier than going to the main street and fighting for parking, or climbing mountains just to get to a shop to save a few dollars. If they turned the radio and music off completely, I wouldn’t mind going in as much, but after last time, I’m not impressed.

(I just remembered that at some train stations they plain classical music to scare people away, especially teens. Is this what shops are doing?)

Leave a comment if you have had the same situation and tell me who you think the music is for? The clients (hint: its not) or the staff?

© ASD and me 2019 ™meme