Tag: frustration

Posted in Frustrated Aspie, Struggle, Thoughts

So much for help.

Posted on by Private Person

Finally had the lawnmowers come out last Tuesday. I was a bit excited and hopeful that I’ll actually have help.

They did a good job. The mowed all the lawn, removed some rubbish and even used a chainsaw to cut a log.

Then on Friday, the cleaners came out and were here for 6 hours. They completely rearranged my kitchen cupboards, which I didn’t want them to do and I didn’t know they would do that. I thought they would just move stuff, dust, then put everything back.

They stunk up the house with chemicals and I had to open windows.

When they left and I started looking at what they had done. They did clean the oven, but sprayed my fence with oven cleaner and corroded the paint, so now we have huge white stains.

I was furious on Saturday morning and wrote many drafts of angry letters telling them off, but I decided not to send them. I don’t like doing stuff in anger and rage, so I’m glad I waited and sent a ‘polite as I can be’ email this morning.

They wrote back quickly and said they would repair the fence. I guess that’s all I can expect. I just hope they repair the fence and don’t do more damage.

(c) ASD and me 2020.

Posted in Thoughts

Am I stuck in Red tape?

Posted on by Private Person

I’ve been feeling more stressed than usual because the NDIA is messing me around again. A woman called to ask if I wanted my review cancelled. A review that took me months to get help for and tonnes of effort on my part, she wanted me to cancel. She said it was probably going to be rejected anyway. I really do not understand the NDIA or some of its actions.

So now, after that caller with a very strong accent I could barely understand, I have no idea what is happening and I’m extremely stressed and confused. And also, I will probably be forced to wait until August for my review. This phone call was back in January, so they want me to wait over 6 more months to get an answer to if they will actually give me assistance with my disabilities. So the 2 previous years weren’t enough of my life wasted, I have to wait longer for them to decide if I qualify for the help I actually need and asked for or to be grateful with the crumbs they have already thrown at me.

I am baffled by this behavior.

Is this what they call help? Making claims of giving me assistance, getting my hopes up, then smashing them to tiny pieces, then smashing them again and again to the point where I want to tell them to shove it.

If their goal was make me feel worse or extremely stressed, so much so I had a huge panic attack yesterday that has made me feel so useless all I could do was cry on my bed?

Goal accomplished.

The call was actually weeks ago, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel so hopeless and low, I barely feel like writing or doing anything but watch tv and sleeping.

(c) ASD and me 2020.

Posted in Angry Autie, ASD, Autism, Frustrated Aspie, Thoughts

Stop using Autism as an insult!

Posted on by Private Person

Wow, he’s such a herpes head!

She’s such a quadriplegic!

You’re such a heat rash!

My legs hurt today, I need a wheelchair!

You’re such a Lyme head!

I forgot my books, I’m so autistic today!

(And my favourite)

Isn’t everyone just a bit Autistic?

Have you ever said anything as silly ignorant and hurtful? No, them I’m sure you’re a good person. If you have ever said anything like this, then why?

I’ve been noticing a disturbing trend lately, mainly online. Its people making hurtful comments about Mental Illness, especially Autism. I’ve seen and heard many comments in Youtube videos and the comment section of people using Autism as an insult. It seems to be becoming the new “retard” or “spastic’. I don’t like either of those words, but at least they don’t shine a spotlight on a specific illness.

Why is mental illness used like a punching bag? I don’t hear anyone making jokes about wheelchairs or people with Spina Bifida. No one would say “I wish I had a Chari 1 malformation” or “I wish I had Rickets so I could use a walking stick”.

These insults are very harmful and hurtful to people who actually have these illnesses. If you have these illnesses yourself or know someone who does, stand up for them. Tell the bully that bullying is not acceptable so they need to find other more appropriate words to express themselves. Maybe you need to buy these people a Dictionary and a Thesaurus to help them learn new words.

Mental Illness or any illness are not your punch line, so stop using them as one.

©ASD plus me 2019.

Posted in Frustrated Aspie, Struggle, Thoughts

Contact made

Posted on by Private Person

I called my LAC again today Thursday and finally she answered. I’ve been trying to contact her since the 28th of August and today at 3pm she answered. Open the champagne!

She gave the excuse of I’m so busy. Non stop.

So she didn’t even have time to take a few seconds to acknowledge my call or SMS? I need to go into her office tomorrow at 10am. If she’s not there, I’m calling the NDIS to make a formal complaint and fucking have them fired again and demand that I’m moved to a different company.

I’m allowing my anxiety speak to me I know, but its been over 2 weeks trying to contact her.

I really want to know if anyone else is getting messed around? Are they having as shitty time as I am?

I really don’t know what to do. I’m stuck. I’m so angry that I don’t even want to go see her because I know I’ll cry or get angry. I really want to say: WTF are you doing?

Do you know what a phone is?

I’m sorry if my disability is causing you employment!

I’m sorry my cries for help are making you do the job your being paid for.

Maybe I should put these on a t shirt.

©ASD plus me 2019.