Am I stuck in Red tape?

I’ve been feeling more stressed than usual because the NDIA is screwing me around again. A woman called to ask if I wanted my review cancelled. A review that took me months to get help for and tonnes of effort on my part, she wanted me to cancel. She said it was probably going to be rejected anyway. I really do not understand the NDIA or some of its actions.

So now, after that caller with a very strong accent I could barely understand, I have NO idea what is happening and I’m extremely stressed and confused. And also, I will probably be forced to wait until August for my review. This phone call was back in January, so they want me to wait over 6 more months to get an answer to if they will actually give me assistance with my disabilities. So the 2 previous years weren’t enough of my life wasted, I have to wait longer for them to decide if I qualify for the help I actually need and asked for or to be grateful with the crumbs they have already thrown at me.

I am baffled by this behavior.

Is this what they call help? Making claims of giving me assistance, getting my hopes up, then smashing them to tiny pieces, then smashing them again and again to the point where I want to tell them to shove it.

If their goal was make me feel worse or extremely stressed, so much so I had a huge panic attack yesterday that has made me feel so useless all I could do was cry on my bed?

Goal fucking accomplished.

The call was actually weeks ago, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel so hopeless and low, I barely feel like writing or doing anything but watch tv and sleeping.

(c) ASD and me 2020.

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