Posted in #No cure needed, ASD, Autism, Frustrated Aspie, Struggle, Thoughts

My Autism is not going to be cured so stop asking me to prove it exists!

I have been trying to sign up to an online course and it is, of course, difficult and frustrating.

I already sent my paper work in last year, and was approved and have been enrolled, but then I wanted  to transfer.  And get help from a Councillor.

You would think that being disabled, they would make it easy for me to enroll.

But no.

When I call, its the stupid automated dialing system where you need to choose options and “Press 1”.

The first time I called, it didn’t work and there was no hold music, so I hung up and tried again. Then I was finally able to get through to a human, they needed to transfer me and force me to wait 3 minutes for someone on the other end.

This new person, although polite, told me that I needed to fill out more forms to PROOVE my disability  status.

I really wanted to scream!

So to this company, and everyone else, listen up:

1. There is no cure for autism!

2. There never will be.

3. There doesn’t need to be a cure; there is NOTHING wrong with us!

4. I really do not  want to talk about my Autism, especially to some random person on the phone.

5. Stop asking me to prove that I have it EVERY SINGLE TIME I want to study!

6. Just tick the fucking box, so I can get on with my life and stop discussing my very private health issues with strangers over the phone.

I’m going to say this again: THERE IS NO CURE FOR AUTISM!

Do not believe what some crazy trouble making bitch said on her blog, she did not cure her son’s Autism. The best you can do is get an allergy test for your child, or yourself and adjust your diet.

I am so fed up and exhausted by this shit. I just wanted to learn something to help me start a small business so I can work from home and not have to go through the agony and bullshit that are modern job interviews.

That may be my next post.

(c) ASD and me 2019.


Posted in Thoughts

The meeting went well

I had the appointment yesterday with the NDIS provider. It went well. I left home on time, but had trouble finding parking, so I arrived late.

The lady who interviewed me was nice and friendly and she seemed genuinely interested and listened to what I said.

She said she doesn’t know how long the paperwork will take to be approved, but will submit it straight away.

So I’m back to waiting, but I’m closer this time so hopefully I’ll hear from her soon.

(c) ASD and me 2019.

Posted in Thoughts

Tomorrow is my appointment with the NDIS provider

My appointment is tomorrow. I’m so glad it’s finally here, but I’m also nervous. I don’t like strangers asking me personal questions and being intrusive in my life, but I know they need to to know what help I need.

And I really do need it.

It’s at 11am, so its enough time to wake up, have breakfast, then arrive on time. They said the appointment will take about 2 hours.

Hopefully everything will go well and I won’t ended up crying again.

Wish me luck.

(c) ASD and me 2019

Posted in Books

Online book club update

I’ve finished those books and donated them to the local library. They said they didn’t have the Alice book or the third Rosie book, so were grateful.

I have donated good books before and I like seeing them on the shelf, knowing that they are being used and looked after.

I dont know what my next fiction book will be. I borrowed some cook books, so will read them first, then see how I feel.

Has anyone read a good book lately?

(c)ASD plus me 2019.


Posted in ASD, Autism, Thoughts

They said yes!

The NDIS called me yesterday and said I was accepted.

I have an appointment on the 2nd of July.

They also send me paperwork to fill in and take with me to the appointment.

My head is filled with thoughts, but they are like a hurricane, so it hard to sort through them to write down and record. It sounds like a lot of bees buzzing in a hive.

I just hope they can actually help me recover. I really hate being depressed, anxious, helpless. It has robbed me of most of my life, so hopefully now I can reclaim it and he healthier and happier.

Even if not happier, just not sad would be good.

(c) ASD and me 2019.


Posted in ASMR, Struggle, Thoughts

Trying to record ASMR audio is difficult with tinnitus

ASMR means Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. It if you listen to it, its meant to give you tingles on your skin and spine. Some people love it, some don’t get the tingling. I have felt tingle a few times and its a very strange sensation, like a feather gentle touching your skin.

This past year, I’ve been trying to record ASMR videos. It has been extremely difficult for me for many reasons.

1. I’m not very “techie”, so it takes me ages to learn new software. I get frustrated easily and have lost my patience, so I usually quit.

2. I now have sometimes very loud tinnitus, so its hard to tell the difference between my tinnitus and white noise on the recording. Turning the volume up just makes it worse.

3. I really have no ideas what I’m doing. I have done loads of research, and found the best equipment is very expensive.

4. My Samsung phone is great to use as a phone, but not as a recording device. Everything sounds tinny and a bit distorted and has lots of white noise and I have no idea how to remove it.

5. Its extremely difficult to find a place that has NO background noise. I even went to a national park, and it has car engine noise from people driving past.

I want to do this to have some purpose to my life, than just shopping and endless house work and waiting for the NDIS to hurry up.

It doesn’t matter what I do, I seem to always struggle. Other people seem to cruise along, yet I’m almost drowning and need a floating life preserver.

(c) ASD and me 2019.

-life-preserver meme

Posted in Thoughts

Still waiting to hear from the NDIS

I’m still waiting to hear from the NDIS. I’ve been calling occasionally and every time its the same answer: your application is still processing.

I know there are probably people who are more disabled than me and need help more, but I still really need help.

I don’t want to call too much because i might cry and I hate crying, especially on the phone, also because might get anxious which people usually misinterpret as anger. I know the people who answer the phone are only doing their job and have nothing to do with the processing of forms, so I don’t want to be rude to them. I’ve volunteered in a neighbourhood centre where I answered the phone and sometimes callers were rude and that was hard to ignore.

I only lasted a year.

I guess all I can do is wait and hope they get to me soon and dont lose my paperwork.

(c) ASD and me 2019