Category: Thoughts

Posted in Thoughts

I don’t like confrontation or stressful situations.

Posted on by Private Person

I’ve had a few stressful things happen this week.

At my old college, I was printing some images becasue I was still enrolled from my old course that ended last year. A woman was standing next to the printer and was collating. I asked if she was finished using the printer. She said yes. I waited a few minutes for her to move, but she didn’t. She looked at me and asked what I was doing. I said were meant to be keeping distance. She barked “well you should do it then”. She moved to the other side of the table, but that rudeness was really unnecessary.

There are signs all over the college about cleaning your hands and staying apart, but no, they don’t apply to her. I didn’t say anything, but I thought that was very rude. I really don’t see the problem with saying that we need to be spaced apart for safety. Its been over a year now, you should know the drill.

Today when the Police pulled me over was stressful. I wasn’t sure what I had done wrong, but all they wanted was a random breathe test. She asked me if I had drunk any alcohol and used my real name and I said no. That really shook me and I was stressed at my church group that had just reopened after a year. Then I was stressed during the meeting I had with a new service, but the woman was nice so hopefully things will work out well this time.

Some situations are strange and confusing and don’t know how to react to them. I try to stay calm and not go crazy, but sometimes I’m so nervous or anxious I want to run away.

(c) ASD and me 2021.

Posted in Thoughts

I have an appointment with a new service tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Posted on by Private Person

I feel like I’m on a never ending roller coaster with these services. Sometimes they’re good, sometimes they’re terrible. It doesn’t stop and I can’t get off. I want to, but then I lose everything and the last 3 years will have been a complete waste of time.

I also feel like I’m on a hamster wheel. I run in circles, round and round, and get exhausted but end up nowhere, just more sad and confused.

Hopefully with this service it will be different. I won’t make the same mistake of thinking she’s actually telling the truth and is my friend. I would never do that with a doctor or a mechanic, so I shouldn’t do it with a service.

(c)ASD and me 2021.

Posted in Thoughts

I was screwed over by the person I trusted.

Posted on by Private Person

I received a call today from the NDIS complaint department and, it is as I feared. The psychologist and the CV lied and they are getting away with doxxing me.

I can’t believe this happened!

I cried for over an hour when I received the call. I’m so angry, depressed helpless, because of this. They are getting away with doxxing me and there’s nothing I can do to stop them. The only thing I can think of is to write to the PM, but I’m nervous about doing that.

Now I feel completely screwed! I cant trust any psychologist anymore, but I need to speak to one urgently.

I really hope karma is a real thing, so these two nasty liars get what they deserve.

Now I feel compelled to warn everyone:

1: These people are NOT your friend! No matter how nice they are, they are just being paid to pretend to be your friend.

2. Write everything down! Do not trust that they will do the right thing. The right thing for them is to get paid cash money, so they will screw you over if you come between them and their cold hard cash and psychologist licence. They will manipulate and gas light you so be prepared for a fight.

3. Watch your funding like it was your own bank account. Don’t trust that these scumbags will do the right thing. They will take advantage if you let them and aren’t watching.

4. Trust no one! This sounds like something from the X files, but its true. I’m not trusting these services anymore. I’ve leaned my lesson the hard way and it has left some very big, very painful scars.

5.Protect yourself.

I don’t know what to do now. Has anyone been screwed over by people they trusted before? How do I get past it?

(c)ASD and me 2021

Every time I open up and trust someone they hurt me.
Posted in Thoughts

Exercise and update

Posted on by Private Person

Yesterday when I drove to the showgrounds the gate was locked, so I couldn’t climb the stairs, so I just walked around a few times.

Today I climbed a high hill mountain trail near my old college I don’t like and became puffed out. While I was resting at the top, the NDIS called me. I asked them to call me back later. It was just about the “company” who had sprayed oven cleaner on my fence last year. They wanted to close the case and I said yes. There’s no point arguing, the “cleaners” have gotten away with damaging my property.

This make me anxious and sad because I’m afraid now that the psychologist and CV will get away with doxxing me and releasing my private information without my permission. I’m still so angry, sad, anxious, furious, about what happened.

Now I have no help until my support coordinator can find me some new, hopefully professional, services.

On a more positive note, I bought a green kale plant and a red kale plant from Woolies and planted them in the newly dug vege patch. Hopefully they will grow and we can have healthy greens to eat.

(c) ASD and me 2021.

My hope for 2021 and beyond.
Posted in Thoughts

Covid me: before and after.

Posted on by Private Person

I upload this to my old blog, but I still feel the same. I still feel fat and lazy. I’m planning to drive to the show grounds and walk up and down the stairs in the stands where the audience sit. I’m hoping no one else will be here so I can be alone and exercise by myself.

I really need new shoes, but I’m not waiting anymore to exercise, I’ll just use my old shoes and hopefully they will be okay.

I’m trying to start my own exercise program to feel fitter. I also need to eat more and better foods, becasue Dr Christian said women need 2000 calories a day and I don’t eat that much healthy food.

I hope I can visit England after covid and meet him.

(c)ASD and me 2021.