This is from last year from my old blog. I was so anxious and depressed from the bushfires and covid, I thought my heart would break.
Covid heart…
Category: Covid 19
I may have help
Its been weeks since my review and only this week did my psychologist suggest a company that might be able to help with cleaning and mow the lawns.
It would be good to finally have help after struggling since about April with no help. I sometimes regret it, but I’m also glad that we stopped the cleaner coming to our house. I didn’t want someone traveling between houses possibley spreading covid or other diseases, so we cancelled the service.
I’m trying to keep busy by watching Skill share videos, and yes, you tube and shows. I’m also teaching myself watercolours, which is sometimes difficult and annoying and I remember why I stopped years ago.
I’m still looking for land and hoping to move, get a book published and trying to keep positive, even though covid cases are closing in on my town, . I’ve never wanted to stay home and leave so much in my life.
(c) ASD and me 2020
Still waiting and I had a Covid test.
Its been over 2 weeks since my NDIS review was approved.
I’m still waiting for my support coordinator to find someone to clean my house and take me places. I really need help to get things going. I really want to try swimming to lose some weight and to become fitter. I tried to find help on my own and found it extremely difficult.
I’m really hoping that this year will be different. I dont think the NDIS will give me funding for a third year if I don’t use the finding this year.
I’m really hating being stuck at home all the time becasue of covid. I’m terrified that NSW will be shut down like Melbourne. I couldn’t stand being trapped again for endless days, weeks, months.
I already had a Covid test. It felt like a stick was stabbing my brain. I thought they just touched the inside of my nose, maybe steal some snot, but no, they really shove it up there. Its a bit painful for a few seconds but otherwise it was over quickly.
I’ve had an MRI so this was nothing. If you suspect that you have symptoms, go have the test. I put it off for over a month and my partner said I was a hypochondriac, but I don’t care. I wanted to make sure I didn’t have it, for my own peace of mind.
I felt better when I was home and even better when I received my results 2 days later. It was negative of course. I’m still glad I did it.
(c) ASD and me 2020.
WTF is happening in the world.
I can’t believe its been over a month since I posted. A lot has happened, but yet, nothing happened.
I’ve had a lot of trouble with the LAC company. They kept calling me trying to force me into a review I’m not ready for, 2 months earlier than scheduled. After 4 phone calls, they succeeded. I have a phone appointment with some nobody from the company I despise now and my good support coordinator who I demanded has to be included.
I even called the NDIA and told them I want his name added to my file so he can speak on my behalf.
Also, the unprofessional company who “has a contract with the government” keeps telling me I’m stuck with them and can not change. Bullshit! I called the NDIA and they said I can go to a different company. The one I chose is about an hours drive away, but I don’t care. I can drive there and go shopping as well or they can drive to my house.
I’m tired of being bullied by nobodies who think they know better and who are afraid of losing money. I know they think they can bully disabled people, but they’re not doing it to me.
I’m so afraid of losing my funding. I haven’t done anything yet and it might be cancelled next week. The SC said not to worry you won’t lose your funding, but I’m not sure.
Also, WTF do people keep just walking around like nothing has changed? Like China didn’t release all hell on the world. And acting like social distancing isn’t a thing. I wish social distancing was a law all the time.
And I can’t even start on what’s happening in America. People looting, destroying lives and terrorising innocent people. If I was really religious, I would say it’s the end of days. I think this year alone, bushfires, Covid 19, riots, stupids jerks running loose, covid has brought out the worse in people.
Good news: I finally bought a bed. Yeah! I’m like a real person now. Sleeping up in the air, 50cms off the cold floor. Not having to lie on rags like a dog. Good times.
(c) ASD and me 2020.
I feel like I’m the only who is following quarantine rules
Seems that as soon as covid 19 closed everything, people became dumber and dogs discovered new skills of barking loudly.
I can imagine how tedious and claustrophobic prison would be.
I’m so stressed and can’t relax. I’m trying to do the right thing and stay in my house, but neighbours keep having visitors and parties. I want to report them but can’t find anything online.
I don’t feel like eating anything and find it hard to sleep. I really hate isolation. I didn’t go out much before, but at least it was an option. This really sucks. I keep thinking about bad things, and want this to be over.
I’m so stressed and depressed.
(c)ASD and me 2020.
I thought I was having a heart attack
Friday 17th April 4.30pm: neighbours 5 houses up and across the road started blasting music again. Its the son who was friends with the drug dealers next door. It was very loud inside my house. This really infuriates me and I started stressing and feel pain in right side of chest.
6.30pm I’m panicking. I think I’m having a heart attack but I don’t know. Maybe over reacting. I don’t want to have heart problem but don’t want to catch Covid 19 either. So conflicted.
I know the heart muscles can be damaged, but I’m not sure and I’m scared to go the hospital.
6.35 pm: We left after that, bf drove me. We didn’t get home till about 9pm. It had a few people, but wasn’t overly crowded. All the nurses wore masks. Even a security guard wore a mask.
At first I was stressed because of the noise, baby screaming and woman complaining very loudly that she hadn’t had more than 20 minutes sleep in the last month and just wanted some relief. Maybe she could have some relief is she stopped talking.
And as usual, the paper curtains didn’t close properly and I was forced to change in to a gown that showed my bum crack.
The nurse who served me was a bit rough. I know that she may have been stressed, but she put the ECG stickers over my breasts and on my nipples. While I waited for the machine to read my heart beats, hoping it wasn’t damaged, my top half was on show. After she ripped the stickers off my nipples and nearly ripped them off. Then she pulled up my gown for me.
Then she preceded to stab me with a Cannula needle and sticky tape it in my elbow. I have always had a fear of needles and pain, so I try to avoid them as much as possible.
I hate just sitting in the bed looking at a desk and hearing random noises. I was so glad when the nurse removed the Cannula needle and I was able to leave. She ripped of the sticky tape and gave me a free arm waxing which was very painful. I considered walking home, but it was late and really cold and I didn’t feel like getting mugged or frost bite so I called bf to pick me up.
Its Sunday now and I feel better. Even though I was afraid of catching Covid 19 and hospitals in general, I’m glad I was brave and went to the emergency room. I’m also glad I didn’t have a heart attack, just heartburn and stress like usual.
(c) ASD and me 2020.
Wait, what’s happening in China?
So much for having a peaceful new year. The fires are over and I wanted to relax, breathe deeply and write a novel.
But no.
There’s a new virus outbreak in China called the Corona virus. I wasn’t worried at first when I thought it was just in China because Australia is far away and we are gert by sea. But now I’m reading that we have the virus here, so I’m worried.
Bf isn’t worried, but I am and I don’t want to wait until its too late and shelves are empty. People laugh at Preppers, but I think being prepared is human instinct. I prepared for the fires, so I need to prepare for this.
Food:
Buy large plastic bottles of water incase the pipes are damaged or fill with brown water.
Buy tinned food like soup, baked beans, small tins of tuna or chicken.
Dry noodles and pasta that can be cooked in hot water.
Shelf milk in a carton.
Jars of sauce and pesto.
Mouthwash with alcohol.
Buy things that will have a long shelf life that you buy anyway, like peanut butter and rice.
Baby powder formula and tinned baby food if you have a baby. Adults can eat this too.
Equipment:
Buy masks in a box.
Latex gloves for first aid, leather gloves for carrying firewood and to prevent splinters.
Medicine.
Saline for rinsing eyes.
Extra fuel or wood for the fireplace.
Blankets incase you run out of wood or the power goes out.
First aid equipment Band Aids, bandages, Dettol, sharp stainless steel scissors, snake and spider bite kit, etc.
Baby wipes or wet wipes.
Micro fibre clothes that can be washed and reused.
Toilet paper in plastic packaging.
Hand cleaner with a high alcohol content. I don’t like this stuff because it stings my hands a bit when I rub it in, but if it saves my life then I’ll use it.
Pack a bag of clothing. Think of hiking clothes and study boots that will protect your feet if you need to walk over broken glass or gravel.
There’s no need for panic. Just buy extra to prepare for the unexpected, watch a trusted news service in your area and ask the local doctors what is happening and what you should do.
You probably already have some of this stuff in your home, so go look for it.
(c) ASD and me 2020
ASD and me 
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