Author: Private Person

Im kind of burnt out with blogging after doing it for 11 years. taking a break. Only had this blog to attract publishers anyway.
Posted in Thoughts

Covid me: before and after.

Posted on by Private Person

I upload this to my old blog, but I still feel the same. I still feel fat and lazy. I’m planning to drive to the show grounds and walk up and down the stairs in the stands where the audience sit. I’m hoping no one else will be here so I can be alone and exercise by myself.

I really need new shoes, but I’m not waiting anymore to exercise, I’ll just use my old shoes and hopefully they will be okay.

I’m trying to start my own exercise program to feel fitter. I also need to eat more and better foods, becasue Dr Christian said women need 2000 calories a day and I don’t eat that much healthy food.

I hope I can visit England after covid and meet him.

(c)ASD and me 2021.

Posted in Anxiety, Struggle, Thoughts

I still have no help.

Posted on by Private Person

I’m still waiting for people to call me and to get new help. I really dont know what to do. I cant stop thinking about what happened and I can’t sleep. I’m trying to eat healthy, but its really hard to not just eat chocolate like I used to.

I really wish I could get a personal trainer or find a group of women my age to exercise and socialise with.

(c)ASD and me 2021

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Posted in 2021, Thoughts

I feel like fat hippo because of covid…

Posted on by Private Person

Last year was so awful, I was worried about the bushfires, then catching covid so now I can’t wait for it to be over. I didn’t look around the shop like it used to, so I wasn’t getting enough exercise. I over ate sometimes and now I feel just lazy, bloated sometimes, and I know I put on weight.

I’ve been watching a show called supersize v super skinny which I’m enjoying. I’m learning that I didn’t eat enough of the good foods and maybe too much of the bad. Bf and I are now trying to eat healthier and with winter coming, its easier to make bread, stews and even just to put the oven on.

(c)ASD and me 2021

Posted in Thoughts

My autumn heart…

Posted on by Private Person

It’s autumn here in Australia. It’s my favourite season because the leaves on the deciduous trees are changing to beautiful warm palette colours; the days are not boiling hot 30 degrees and above, the cool breezes return and I get to wear winter clothing and sleep near the fireplace.

(c) ASD and me 2021

Posted in ASD, Depression, Struggle, Thoughts

People staring and pointing at me…

Posted on by Private Person

This has happened to me many times in my life. People have stared at me, gossiped about me, pointed at me, bullied me deliberately excluded me, used me, abused me, hurt me emotionally and physically and more things I think I have blocked out.

I’ve never had a real friend. The people I’ve thought were my friends were like facebook friends, just a click on a screen, just electric dreams, an illusion of friendship. These people are fleeting and temporary and don’t really matter. They don’t care about me, just use me as a tool to get what they want, either a free lift home or something else.

Posted in Depression, Struggle, Thoughts

Drowning in tears

Posted on by Private Person

I’ve been feeling so depressed lately sometimes it feels like I wont stop crying. A few times I felt my eyes almost fill with tears and I don’t know why. I’m hoping my support coordinator can find some new services to help me soon.

I still can’t believe the psychologist and CV used and abused me. I’m still having trouble sleeping, eating, getting motivated etc. I’m struggling to write on this blog every weekday as well, but I really want a book published.

I don’t even feel like painting anymore. All the money I made from selling the 4 paintings was spent on new art materials and now I regret it. Maybe I’ll feel better in the future and I’ll want to paint again. For now, I only have the energy for drawing small watercolour paintings.

(c) ASD and me 2021