January 2020 – ASD and me

Wait, what’s happening in China?

Posted on January 31, 2020May 27, 2021 by Private Person

So much for having a peaceful new year. The fires are over and I wanted to relax, breathe deeply and write a novel.

But no.

There’s a new virus outbreak in China called the Corona virus. I wasn’t worried at first when I thought it was just in China because Australia is far away and we are gert by sea. But now I’m reading that we have the virus here, so I’m worried.

Bf isn’t worried, but I am and I don’t want to wait until its too late and shelves are empty. People laugh at Preppers, but I think being prepared is human instinct. I prepared for the fires, so I need to prepare for this.

Food:

Buy large plastic bottles of water incase the pipes are damaged or fill with brown water.

Buy tinned food like soup, baked beans, small tins of tuna or chicken.

Dry noodles and pasta that can be cooked in hot water.

Shelf milk in a carton.

Jars of sauce and pesto.

Mouthwash with alcohol.

Buy things that will have a long shelf life that you buy anyway, like peanut butter and rice.

Baby powder formula and tinned baby food if you have a baby. Adults can eat this too.

Equipment:

Buy masks in a box.

Latex gloves for first aid, leather gloves for carrying firewood and to prevent splinters.

Medicine.

Saline for rinsing eyes.

Extra fuel or wood for the fireplace.

Blankets incase you run out of wood or the power goes out.

First aid equipment Band Aids, bandages, Dettol, sharp stainless steel scissors, snake and spider bite kit, etc.

Baby wipes or wet wipes.

Micro fibre clothes that can be washed and reused.

Toilet paper in plastic packaging.

Hand cleaner with a high alcohol content. I don’t like this stuff because it stings my hands a bit when I rub it in, but if it saves my life then I’ll use it.

Pack a bag of clothing. Think of hiking clothes and study boots that will protect your feet if you need to walk over broken glass or gravel.

There’s no need for panic. Just buy extra to prepare for the unexpected, watch a trusted news service in your area and ask the local doctors what is happening and what you should do.

You probably already have some of this stuff in your home, so go look for it.

Thoughts

What not to say to a person with Autism #2

Posted on January 30, 2020May 27, 2021 by Private Person

Why are you always reading, you read a lot, what you reading for?

My favourite response to this is from Bill Hicks: so I don’t have to be a fucking waffle waitress.

Yes I read, can you? Its a new invention called a book. Are you confused because its not filled with pictures?

This goes with the you’re so quiet question. Does this count only for books, or is it for people reading newspapers as well? I’ve never seen a newspaper reader be interrupted with stupid questions.

What you keeping up with current events for? What, the Earth is round? Vaccines are safe?

You’re just crying to get attention

Its already hard for me to speak on the phone, so anything that makes it harder, makes me even more anxious. I would rather send a message then talk because then I can go through my messages if I forget what was said.

Having tinnitus also makes phone calls harder.

You looked in my direction, you smiled at me, you said hello and acknowledged my existence, so you must want to get Jiggy with it or Bump uglies.

No, I don’t. I looked at you or said hello because I’m a nice person; that’s all; I already have a bf. Even if I was single, I wouldn’t want your sweaty, vile hands to touch any part of my body.

And no, I’m not a bitch or a tease because I said hello to you then didn’t immediately jump your bones. You’re confusing me with the women in your nasty porn videos you watch way too much of.

Are you like Rain Man, Sheldon Cooper, Stephen Hawking, what superpower do you have?

No. I don’t think Rain Man had autism, I think he had Savant Syndrome. And I live in a house with my bf, not a “Mental Health Facility”.

My superpower is ignoring the endless drivel and rude comments that spew from ignorant people’s lips.

You’re so lucky you get a lot of money from the NDIS

No one had said this to me yet, but this is preemptive.

Firstly, it wasn’t luck, it was waiting a year and loads of paperwork and stress and crying and anxiety, stress and shit.

Secondly, I wasn’t given a pile of money to dive into like Scrooge McDuck. I was given paperwork telling me the amount of funding the government has allocated to me. I’m grateful that they have given me funds, but I need someone to help me use them now.

If your applying for funding, make sure you include every letter from every doctor. You won’t get in trouble for giving them too many pieces of paper, just give them everything, even if you think its not relevant. All they will do is review it and decide if they can cover that or not. I wish someone had told me this when I was signing up, it would have saved a lot of time.

Thoughts

What not to say to a person with ASD

Posted on January 28, 2020May 27, 2021 by Private Person

Why are you always reading, you read a lot, what you reading for?

My favourite response to this is from Bill Hicks: so I don’t have to be a fucking waffle waitress.

Yes I read, can you? Its a new invention called a book. Are you confused because its not filled with pictures?

This goes with the you are so quiet question. Does this count only for books, or is it for people reading newspapers as well? I’ve never seen a newspaper reader be interrupted with stupid questions.

What you keeping up with current events for? What, the Earth is round?

You’re just crying to get attention

No, I’m really not. I have heard this many times and it makes me so angry. I try to stay away from these people. Sometimes when I cry, I have a panic attack and I can’t stop; its very embarrassing sometimes. Its already hard for me to speak on the phone, so anything that makes it harder, makes me even more anxious. I would rather send a message then talk because then I can go through my messages if I forget what was said.

You looked in my direction, you smiled at me, you said hello and acknowledged my existence so you must want to get Jiggy with it or Bump uglies.

No, I don’t. I looked at you or said hello because I’m a nice person; that’s all. I already have a bf. Even if I was single, I wouldn’t want your sweaty, vile hands to touch any part of my body.

And no, I’m not a bitch or a tease because I said hello to you then didn’t immediately jump your bones. You’re confusing me with the women in your nasty porn videos you watch too much of.

Are you like Rain Man, Sheldon Cooper, Stephen Hawking, what superpower do you have?

Firstly no.

My superpower is ignoring the endless drivel and rude comments that spew from ignorant people’s lips.

You’re so lucky you get a lot of money from the NDIS

No one had said this to me yet, but this is pre emptive.

Firstly, it wasn’t luck, it was waiting a year and tonnes of paperwork and stress and crying and shit.

If your applying for funding, make sure you include every letter from every doctor. You won’t get in trouble for giving them too many pieces of paper. Just give them everything, even if you think its not relevant. All they will do is review it and decide if they can cover that or not. I wish someone had told me this when I was signing up, it would have saved a lot of time.

(c)ASD and me 2020.

Cooking, Food, Thoughts

Eating the alphabet: B

Posted on January 27, 2020May 27, 2021 by Private Person

I searched the internet to find food that starts with the letter B.

Bananas, Blueberries, Beetroot, Bok choy, Broccoli, Bacon, Barley, Beans, Basmati rice, Bocconcini, Bread, Barramundi, Butter, Brie, Buckwheat, Brown rice, Butternut pumpkin.

I decide to make Stir fry with Bok choy and noodles. The worst part is cutting up the chicken, since I hate touching raw chicken, then having to wash my hands a few times to make sure my hands are sterilised and clean. Bf prepared the chicken and I chopped the Bok choy, cooked it in the wok for a few minutes till it was wilted, then added to rest of the ingredients.

We made a lot so it lasted me a few meals.

I really like this new idea I have for eating the alphabet, so I plan to make one every week. I like the challenge of finding a new letter food each week.

ASD, Autism, Frustrated Aspie, Thoughts

What not to say to a person with ASD

Posted on January 21, 2020May 27, 2021 by Private Person

Aren’t we all a bit Autistic?

No. Why is this even a thing people think? Would they say everyone has a bit of cancer in them? This just rude and dismissive.

You’re a hero and an inspiration.

Why? Because I get out of bed and don’t cry all day?

I hate when people say this. They may mean it in a nice way, but it still feels like I should be on a stage in a freak show for people to point and gawk at.

Soldiers fighting in wars are heroes, Doctors curing disease are heroes, Firefighters are heroes, Police who protect the public are heroes, not some women who just wakes up every day like everyone else does.

You should be proud.

Proud of what? I didn’t ask to be born with Autism, I struggle everyday with my disabilities. I hate them mostly, but there’s no cure for Autism and anxiety and depression are difficult to fix, so I have to live with them; I don’t have a choice. And suicide isn’t an option for me, so that’s why I’m trying different things, like swim lessons, art classes, online study, to see if any of them make me feel better.

You’re so sensitive and stop being sensitive.

How about you stop trying to bully me, control me, be bitchy to me and just leave me alone. I really do not need nor want you harassing me.

And yes I’m a sensitive person. I care about animals, my family, good people, world peace, all good things in the world. How about you focus on your lack of sensitivity and compassion and stop bullying people.

You’re so quiet

Yes I am quiet. How about move away from me if you want to be noisy, or smoke, or spray deodorant, or eat stinky food like curry.

And yes, I want quiet when I’m shopping because its a shop, not a nightclub and I don’t want to lose my hearing because I need to buy food.

You should eat Chilli, it’s good for you

If another person tells me to eat chilli, it’s good for you, it’s good for my digestion, it will help me loose weight, I’ll scream. I don’t know how many times I have to say I’m fucking allergic to it. How about I force you and peer pressure you to eat something you’re allergic to huh?

Also, I’m fine with my weight as it is, I don’t live on a scale like you so how about you keep your thinly veiled comments about my weight to yourself. Maybe eat some chilli, or some carbs, then you won’t be so nasty.

Food

Eating the alphabet: A

Posted on January 18, 2020May 27, 2021 by Private Person

I’m trying to eat healthier and not eat junk. I want to eat more fruit and especially vegetables. I decided I’ll eat my way through the alphabet and maybe I’ll find some unusual foods I haven’t tried before that have a good taste, texture and are easy to cook.

There are many foods starting with A, such as: apples, avocado, almonds, apple juice, apple cider vinegar, anchovies, etc.

Some of these I can easily find at the supermarket, but others, I need to search for, like the Amaranth.

I decided to go for what I already had in the house: Avocado.

1. Toast some bread

2. Peel and mash the avocado.

3. Avocado on the toast.

4. Catch some salmon.

5. Prepare the salmon.

6. Or just buy packaged salmon and put on toast. avocado toast2

©ASD and me 2020

Thoughts

Its raining rain, hallelujah!

Posted on January 16, 2020 by Private Person

Yes, I know that title is very cheesy, so much it may make some readers lactose intolerant, but I don’t care. Its raining here!

Full on rain. Not a few spits of water, full on thunder stormy type rain. It’s amazing. It was so loud last night, it woke bf and myself up around 3am. The loud thunderous noise reminded me of when the drug dealers still rented next door and used to wake us up at 3am with their music and drumkit.

But I’m not worried. I was able to fall asleep after a while and this morning I woke up, and there were actually puddles on the ground. The grass is green, not a hay brown colour like it has been for months. Birds are sitting on the powerlines in the rain enjoying not being burned alive in the fires. They are making bird noises and flying around.

This sudden reprieve from the fires is like magic. The weather forecast claims the storms will continue till the 20th, so I hope that’s true.

Thoughts

Deleting old blogs.

Posted on January 15, 2020January 13, 2020 by Private Person

I found a bunch of old books that I wrote passwords in for old blogs and social media accounts. I have been going through them, slowly, since some of the passwords don’t work and other issues.

I held onto these things for years, and for what?

I think it was because I was still hoping to be published. I guess I still can be, but it really doesn’t matter. I can start a new blog for free on WordPress whenever I want , so I don’t know why I was holding on to old blogs from 2012.

I read some of the comments and one was rude and sarcastic pointing out my spelling mistakes. I don’t know why people do this. Its called a mistake for a reason. I would have done this when I was younger, but now I don’t want to waste my time; I have better things to do.

I’m still going to write, but I won’t focus purely on getting published like I did years ago before I gave up. I wasted 10 years and received nothing but gut ache, sadness and a pile of letters.

Writing should just be fun and a way to express myself, not torture or a pain.

Who knows, I feel attached to this blog right now, but back then I was super attached to those blogs, so I don’t know how I’ll feel in the future about this one.

Honestly, it feels so good to remove and delete all this junk. What is it anyway? Nothing tangible. Nothing I can touch. I don’t care about likes or whatever, I only had social media because its expected of writer to have a platform.

I’m thinking about making new accounts, but sometimes I think its more trouble than its worth.

2020, Thoughts

I’m tired of unreliable people wasting my time.

Posted on January 13, 2020March 24, 2021 by Private Person

I’m trying to stay positive this year, but sometimes its very difficult, especially when I have to rely on other people to keep their word.

I have been studying an online line course that hasn’t exactly been a disaster, but the tutor who was assigned to me I think is. She makes excuses for forgetting appointments, then says “I’m so sorry blah, blah, blah…” I mean, we have a long email chain, written with history in Gmail, that we can just scroll through. Why can’t she just look at it?

I don’t know what to make of this. One time, yes, can be a mistake, but three? How can she keep making mistakes and writing the wrong date down in her diary. It’s 2020, get it together.

I really wanted to write a bad email, but I kept typing words, then deleting words, so in the end, I said “I’m so angry I can’t even write a proper email”. I also took a screen shot of her words saying “ok 11am Friday smiley face”. I wonder how she will respond to that. Will she admit she made a mistake, or will she say she doesn’t remember typing that. No, I think she will make her usual excuse of “I’m so sorry, blaaaaaaaaahhhh”. There’s only so many times a person can apologise before it just becomes meaningless background noise.

I’m so confused and despondent. I feel like again, a pile of dirt has been dumped onto me and I now have another hard climb to get back up to where I was before; if that’s even possible.

Loud sigh

I’m angry and annoyed that this stupid women wasted my time. I won’t think about it anymore for now. I’ll put it on hold in my mind, then I’ll deal with it on Monday.

Its a new year and bf reminded me that all online study has done is made me more stressed and anxious. Is this what happens when I’m brave enough to tell someone I’m disabled and ask for help?

That was Friday, this is Monday and I’m still thinking about it. I don’t even want to check my email because I think she sent me a reply. So now I don’t know what to do.

So yeah, unless something amazing happens, I think I’m done.

2020, Thoughts

2020 list: Exercise

Posted on January 6, 2020May 27, 2021 by Private Person

1. Do some exercise everyday.

By exercise, I don’t mean join a gym. Gross. All those sweaty meatbags throwing themselves around the room.

Exercise can be any form of movement, (my definition) for 30 minutes a day:

Walking around the supermarket

Walking around the shopping centre

Hanging out heavy baskets of washing

Cleaning the bath and scrubbing it, raising my heartbeat

Vacuuming and moving around the house

Moving furniture to clean behind and vacuum under

Standing at sink washing dishes

Filling or emptying dishwasher
Gardening, pulling weeds from a garden bed or vege patch

mowing lawn, trimming the edges, especially if you use a manual hedge trimmer (I don’t do these)

trimming tree branches, flowers, leaves

Carrying a full watering can down the ramp and around the backyard. I need to fill it and refill it as well so that takes at least 30 minutes or more and makes me puffed.

Trimming the wormwood hedge, which really needs it, but too hot outside for that.

Repotting, moving pots, replanting plants, picking fruit and vegetables.

I also want to walk outside, but I need to wake up very early to avoid the heat, and can’t walk far because of the smoke. I walk more during the other seasons, so I can’t wait for summer to be over.

What ever moves my body and makes me sweat, makes me puffy and makes my heart beat faster I’m considering exercise.

ASD and me 2020.

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